What are the top 10 tips for working in an office?
01.) Don’t touch someone else’s office
Girl: “I can’t find anything. Who is the idiot who messed up everything in my office?”
Guy: “Your office was a mess. I organized your thumb tacks by color, put your books in alphabetical order, and straightened all of the papers on your desk.”
02.) Look before you close the elevator door
Guy: “Damn it, I’m late. I need to close the elevator door.”
Girl: “Just hold the elevator for me, I have a lot of stuff to carry.”
Guy: [Closes the elevator door]
Girl: “You son of a bitch! I’ll get you for that!”
03.) Be patient with co-workers
Girl: “How do you display this PowerPoint presentation full screen?”
Guy: “For god’s sake, just give me the mouse. Just click the button right here, it’s so freaking simple.”
Girl: “Why are you such a jerk?”
04.) Make appropriate eye contact
Girl: “Hey, what are you staring at? My eyes are up here.”
Guy: “Uh… I was staring at your coffee mug, not your chest.”
Girl: “Why are you so weird?”
05.) Don’t talk loudly on speaker phones
Guy: “So Jerry, can you finish that project next week?”
Girl: “I swear to God, if you don’t start using a head set right now and learn to talk quietly, I’m going to slam your head through your monitor.”
Guy: “Is it your time of the month again? Why are you always so bitchy?”
06.) Don’t be rude when kicking people out of a meeting room
Guy: “It’s 2:01pm. I have this meeting room booked and you’re one minute late. Get out!”
Girl: “We were talking about whether or not to give you a raise.”
Guy: “Is it too late to say sorry?”
07.) Don’t use up paper towels without replacing them
Girl: “Did you just use up the last paper towel without replacing them? I hate it when people do that. Why are you selfish?”
Guy: “This probably isn’t the best time for me to run away from the kitchen because I’m late for a meeting.”
08.) Don’t pour the last cup of coffee without making more
Girl: “Did you just drink the last cup of coffee without making more? Oh my god. That’s even worse than using up the last paper towel without replacing them.”
Guy: “This probably isn’t the best time for me to tell you that I spilt coffee on your report.”
09.) Don’t steal lunches from the refrigerator
Girl: “Are you eating my lunch? What is wrong with you? My name is taped on the Tupperware container.”
Guy: “This probably isn’t the best time for me to tell you that you’re a bad cook.”
10.) Be careful when sharing negative opinions
Guy: “Who’s the idiot that created this stupid process? It’s slowing everything down.”
Girl: “I created that process because idiots like you never give me the information that I need, so I had to create a form to force you to fill out required fields.”
Guy: “Is it too late to say sorry?”
